*NEWS*HP WORKER SPILLS COMPANY SECRETS

[Anonymous]

HP worker spills company secrets
Fourteen reasons to avoid them
A
FORMER HP company person has blown the whistle on his employer to the
Consumerist magazine.Now that his or her NDA is expired, the worker
felt the need to release 14 trade secrets that the outfit likes to keep
hidden. The Consumerist reports that these 14 secrets include the fact
that HP laser printers have a built-in page-count after which they
won’t work. The counter is in the drum kit and it is always cheaper to
buy a new printer rather than get it fixed. It is possible to do a NV
ram reset but this has a few risks.To get passed HP’s voice prompt
system you should shout “Agent” into the phone and you will be
connected to a human.HP tells its help desk people not to spend more
than 30 minutes talking to punters whose printers cost less than the
print cartridges. These are throw away printers and are not meant to be
fixed. HP cartridges have a warranty separate from their printer. If
the cartridge starts playing up and the warranty on the printer is gone
you can still phone up.All HP printers which have been on the market
for longer than six months have foreign tech support. HP’s Parts Store
was recently moved to Central America and isn’t talking to HP Tech
Support.Apparently, they are miffed because the Tech Support CSR can
see what is in the HP PS inventory and knows when they’re telling
porkies. HP Parts Store has a habit of losing stuff.Tech support has
been told to hang up on people if it is discovered that they use non-HP
cartridges or if punters who threaten to sue them.HPs has a Beta
Software website. It contains lots of drivers that have not made it
onto distribution cds yet and fixes.

Hewlett-Packard Company Secrets From A Former Employee
A
former Hewlett-Packard worker who could barely wait for their
non-disclosure-agreement to end so they could spill company secrets to
The Consumerist has more, along with clarifications about what was
posted yesterday.Everything I have given is accurate as of the last day
I worked there. It’s not that HP is a bad company. People just need to
know what they are getting themselves in to when they buy HP.
1:
Yes, the imaging drum/image transfer assembly will stop the printer
from working if you go over the page count. Anything with the word
“transfer.” Be careful with the NV ram reset because it erases
everything.
2: Support for home computing products is done via flow chart.
3:
HP considers countries like Canada to be not worth the time or effort
to market to. The market base in there is equivalent to one of the
smaller American States. If you are calling in from Canada, you have to
prove that you are in warranty and some of the features that Americans
get, Canadians don’t.
4: Often heard from US customers: “Thank god
you speak American! You’re not someone from Inja(India)!” Even CSRs
hate dealing the HP outsource center in India. I wasn’t joking about
speaking a “variant of American.” Yes, I speak English.
5: Back door link to HP. Only for onsite Tech Support: http://learning.compaq.com/wbt/e9-10200-wb/default.htm
This has stuff like how to field strip your products. Info varies by products.
6:
Outsourced companies pay their people crap and like all things, you get
what you pay for. If it were to become unionized, the company would
fold up like a house of cards.
7: With regards to HP Parts: Here’s
an example of a conversation had by a CSR: “Oh, you haven’t gotten your
wingding yet? Okay, you should have gotten that a couple of days ago.
Can I put you on hold while I deal with that?” (uses other line to call
HP Parts, sees on his screen what is in his inventory) “Hey, this is
Dude over in CSR, how come Mr. Yoda hasn’t gotten his wingding yet?”
“Oh, we’re all out.”
“No you’re not! I can see 16 on the availability!”
“Oh, sorry, I meant its on hold cause its a duplicate order.”
“No its not – its the first order done for this customer in a year.”
“Oh the customer must have ordered it wrong then.”
“No, we did the order for the customer.”
“Well, there’s nothing that we can do then.”
“Tell
ya what – go do the job you were trained for or my next call is to your
supervisor and he will do what he was trained for and fire you. Now get
that wingding out Pronto!” “You can’t do that.””I’m HP Internal, and I
have a customer on my line. You will do it now.” (back to customer)
“Sorry, for the delay sir. I will have that wingding out to you via
(shipping) right away. Can I call you back in a couple days to make
sure you’ve got it?”Now, multiply the above by many calls and many
irate CSRs per day and you’ll wind up with a memo on your desk that
says CSRs can not talk to Parts.The most frustrating part of being a
CSR at the outsource center is when you call up the customer a few days
later and no, they haven’t gotten the part you promised them they’d get
and then you get your ear chewed off.
8: I just wish I could give
you the “stupid customer stories” because some of them are hilarious.
Others are hair pulling. There’s the one customer who used an HP
printer from Eastern European country and plugged it straight into an
American electrical socket and the magic blue smoke came out. Then
there’s a customer who thought that printing cardboard was a good idea
because the sales guy told them so.
9: In training our trainer said
that if it takes longer than 30 minutes to troubleshoot (low end
printer) we are then costing HP money and should just replace it.

A
former Hewlett-Packard worker could barely wait for their
non-disclosure-agreement to end so they could spill 14 company secrets
to The Consumerist.
1: Many HP Printers, like their laser
printers, have a built-in page-count after which they won’t work. This
resides in the a transpart sometimes called image or drum kit. Rather
than get the printer fixed, it’s often cheaper to buy a new printer, OR
you can do a NV ram reset. It resets everything in the printer,
including all the page counts, but it’s not without risks.
2: To get
past the voice prompt system, repeatedly say “Agent.” It will take two
or three repetitions, but it will get you to a human.
3: If a set of
cartridges cost more than the printer, don’t buy the printer. It’s
considered a “throwaway” printer. HP service techs are told to spend no
more than 30 minutes working on these because at that point, you are
costing HP money.
4: HP cartridges have a warranty separate from
their printer. The printer might be out of warranty, but the cartridges
might not be. Cartridge goes plooey, call in.
5: Any HP printer that
has been on the market for 6 months has its tech support outsourced.
This means you might wind up talking to India, Canada or Costa Rica. Of
the three, Canada at least speaks a variant of American.
6: If you
have been told that you will receive a part by a certain date, follow
up immediately. HP Parts Store was recently moved to Central America.
HP Parts Store isn’t talking to HP Tech Support because the Tech
Support CSR can see what is in the HP PS inventory and knows when
they’re bullsh*tting. Every other part of HP hates HP Parts Store
because of lost inventory, improper procedures, missed shipments, etc.
7:
Using non-HP cartridges in your printer will void your warranty, and
sometimes makes stuff blow up real good. The tech support will hang up
on you if it is proven that the damage was caused by non-HP cartridges.
8:
Just because the sales people say that your HP printer can use 120lbs
paper doesn’t mean it actually can. You want the straight dope on a
printer? Call up HP tech support or check the website.
9: If your
printer is just out of warranty and you have a problem with it, call
tech support anyway. You will first likely be directed to a “warranty
agent.” Tell them firmly that you have an “extended warranty” and they
will forward you on to tech support under “customer claims warranty.”
The Tech Agent MUST give you support as per HP policy.
10: Don’t
yell at the Tech Support CSRs. Most of them make just over minimum wage
and just want to get the call over. If you have a problem, firmly
request a supervisor.
11: If you threaten a lawsuit, HP CSRs are told to stop the call immediately and hang up.
12:
Many HP CSRs are cross-trained into other departments. It doesn’t hurt
to ask if they know about the product or problem if you get misrouted.
13.
HP’s Beta Software website is at: http://www.hp.com/pond/ljbeta/. Only
beta because it hasn’t been put on the distribution cds yet. A lot of
drivers here will do stuff that the installation cds won’t. Also has
fixes. HP maintains similar unadvertised websites throughout their
system…
14. http://www.hp.com/pond/pnp Point and print = a new hp toy.

[Author]

February 19, 2007 at 1:31 PM