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Bush In Hell
One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
“I
don’t know what to do,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have
no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you
what I’m going to do. I’ve got some folks here who weren’t quite as bad
as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.” Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In
it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in
hell. “No, George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and I
don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the
next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full
of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
“No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,” commented George.
The
devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the
floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a
spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, “Yea, I can
handle this.” The devil smiled and said “OK, Monica, you’re free to go.”
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